Engaging in a formal relationship with a licensed therapist can be a helpful step to take for those grieving the death of a child. Navigating therapy can be highly complex and exacerbated by the deep grief you may be feeling. Leaning on trusted loved ones and professionals can be helpful advocates in getting you established with therapy.
As you think about therapy, it may be helpful to consider the factors that are most important to you in a potential therapist such as their gender, religious affiliation, or experience level. Keep in mind that it can take time and patience to locate a therapist, so you should also consider the weight of these considerations relative to the benefit of getting established with a therapist more quickly.
For many, health insurance coverage dictates the networks of therapists to choose from. Your health insurer’s website will likely have a searchable tool of therapists available within their network. Keep in mind that these webpages may not be updated frequently, so it's a good idea to call or email the potential therapist to confirm important details—such as which insurance they accept and whether they are currently accepting new clients.
Some health insurance plans offer out-of-network coverage for therapists, which means they may cover all or a portion of your care with a therapist outside of their traditional network. It’s important to make sure you understand your financial responsibility versus your health insurer’s as you embark with a new therapist. Common terms that insurers’ may use include:
co-pay: a fixed amount that you’d pay out-of-pocket for each session
deductible: the amount of money you’d have to pay out-of-pocket before your insurer begins contributing to your services (note that co-pays often do not count towards your deductible)
co-insurance: a percentage of the cost of each session that you’d be responsible for after your deductible has been reached (note that some plans, but not all, might require you to pay a co-pay and co-insurance at the same time)
premium: the amount of money that you may pay recurrently (monthly) to keep your insurance policy active
Some employers offer employee-assistance programs (EAP) to their staff, which allow them a confidential resource to discuss personal challenges. Some EAPs offer connections to therapists, but these may be short-term relationships in nature.
Once you’ve met with a therapist, it’s totally normal to feel like the relationship may not be a fit. While it’s important to give the relationship time to settle and it can help to express your preferences directly (e.g. ‘I’d prefer to not be given homework between session’), you’re never forced to stay with a therapist that you do not like.
Tools like PsychologyToday, as well as your health insurer websites, can be helpful places to begin your therapist search.