Professionals play an immensely important role in the wake of a child’s loss. In this unknown terrain, families will look to those around them for guidance, support and comfort. Regardless of your role, there are universal tips and practices that can serve you and your colleagues in support of your work.
Be clear about who you are and why you are there, and what they should expect from you. Provide your contact information. Don’t put the burden on families to call you.
Do what you say that you’re going to do. Don’t make promises that you can’t keep.
Remember that everybody grieves differently.
Educate yourself. Don’t use terms that you don’t understand fully. It’s ok to say that you don’t know something and will find the answer.
Provide resources to families to reference when they’re ready. Don’t assume that somebody else has already done so.
Use the child’s name instead of saying ‘the child’ or ‘the deceased’.
Families are going to want answers and timelines. This is normal. Know that you can’t predict them and respond empathetically and respectfully.
Use simple language and recognize that people may forget what they’re told. Provide as much information as you can in writing.
Be honest with children. Include them in commemorative activities. Use developmentally appropriate language and avoid euphemisms.