SUPPORT FOR MEN
“We get no choice. If we love, we grieve.”
-Thomas Lynch
The death of a child is a heartbreaking and life-changing loss. Every parent grieves deeply, and men often experience and express that grief in ways that may not always be easily recognized.
Many men are taught—directly or indirectly—to be strong, problem-solve, and protect others. As a result, their grief may show up through actions rather than words. Some men focus on staying busy, returning to work quickly, or taking care of practical tasks as a way to manage overwhelming emotions and maintain a sense of stability during a time that feels out of control. Others may express grief through physical symptoms, irritability, quiet withdrawal, or a deep need for solitude. These responses are not signs of indifference—they are often expressions of overwhelming love and loss.
Men may also feel pressure to support their partner, children, or extended family, sometimes placing their own grief in the background. This can make their pain less visible, but no less real. Like all grieving parents, men need understanding, patience, and space to grieve in their own way and at their own pace.
Despite these pressures, men experience deep emotional pain after loss. Yet research shows that many men do not receive the support they need. In 2021, fewer than half of men with a reported mental health condition received mental health care. Even more concerning, many men who died by suicide had sought mental health care within the year before their death, suggesting that support systems do not always meet men where they are.
There is no “right” way to grieve. It’s important for men to have access to therapy, therapeutic literature, and supportive resources. Honoring men’s experiences of grief means recognizing that love, sorrow, and healing can look different for everyone—and that every expression of grief deserves compassion and respect.
